Did i mention that toddlers are terribly cunning? mine is not only cunning, she still believes she's God (or at least, she loves pretending to be). One long trying afternoon, as I was trying to get her to nap, by pretending to sleep too (this usually works as she would look around bored, then fall asleep), the little one just refused to close her eyes. She was horizontal, but talking nineteen to the dozen...to herself. in effect, she was having a duologue with God, but you see, she plays both parts, her, and God.
In deep scary voice as God "Maeve, you were naughty just now right?"
in her own voice " yes God, I was bad"
deep voice "Then you need to apologise to mummy"
her voice "i know God, but mummy is asleep, so I can't say sorry."
Of course, hard to remain in a pretend sleep mode when these sorts of conversations with God goes on!
Monday, May 11, 2009
Monday, May 4, 2009
and the bug goes round and round
it has been almost a month and our family is not free from this unrelenting bug. it always starts with the kids and then it goes to the adults. I've now fallen victim to it after fending it off valiantly for what seemed like ages while the little one succumbed almost immediately. darned! wished i was still breastfeeding her then maybe she'll have more immunity! now that I'm down with the usual fever and cough, it has been hard on the little one as I cannot hug her too much, certainly cannot kiss her and have to wear a mask and sleep apart from her. she tried her best to be understanding, even fetching water, thermometer etc on the first day, but now, is inconsolable as she has not been kissed for 3 days and 3 days is a very long time for someone who needs lots of kisses and cuddles. Her daddy has been great, trying to do all the things i do with her, bed time stories, bathing, cuddling, but i guess it is not quite the same. just now, she teared pitifully, saying she wanted to stroke mummy's hand to sleep. i offered her daddy's, saying it was the same thing. she shot me the kind of look that can only come from teenagers, and burst into tears, begging me to sleep with her, and offering to boot her daddy out instead. Poor daddy will probably have to contend with her sleeping on his chest the entire night as he strokes her to sleep. i just hope i'll be up and about tomorrow as i hate being so absolutely useless, just pretty much moving from a horizontal position on the bed to another horizontal one on the sofa, alert only when Panadol Max does its magic.I guess sometimes i expect too much from a 2 year old. how can i hope she'd understand mummy needs to wear a mask, be horizontal, not do jumping jacks? So all mums can never hope for time to rest and recuperate. they can only pray that they will recover instantly so that they can continue their jobs as mums.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
I realise I spend far too much time studiously reading books and angsting over discipline. Instead, I should trust my instincts more and trust God's guidance more.
I've been reading this book, Shepherding the heart of a child, that asserts that children should be taught to obey at the first instance, no matter what. Although they may negotiate, ie, "can i finish the puzzle first?", they are expected to heed the call, if the answer from mum or dad is "no". And if they don't, we have to smack them, as that is what the bible calls for and we have no right to challenge what God asks us to do as parents. Well, I would say that there are some good principles in this book, about winning the heart of a child, but this book has also caused me much distress as i tried to apply its principles, mainly, teach her to obey at the first instance. The end result? I got really tired and frustrated, having to put on my stern face, about 20-30 times a day, which is really hard to do, given my personality. it also caused my little one to withdraw from me. in fact, she told me that the job of a mummy is to punish. ouch! Anyways, after confessing to a crime one night, without prompting, I had to punish, but really, was too tired, from punishing the entire day, to punish further. So, i sent her to bed, while I tossed and turned, troubled by the confessed crime and my parenting. As usual, I couldn't sleep, so got out of bed at 1am and talked to God (for some reason, I hear Him most clearly at about that time). 2 things happened. Firstly, my helper awoke too and sat down to chat with me. Our casual chat revealed that Maeve's misdeed wasn't an act of naughtiness but really that of excitement and she had apologised profusely to the other little kid. That took a load of my mind as I was envisioning a little ganster in the making.The next was a book that God set my eyes upon, Parenting with Grace and Truth. The book affirmed all that I had been doing with Maeve (before I read the other book) and assured me that my general sense of uneasiness with this new method of parenting and discipline was the appropriate response. It is amazing how God speaks so clearly and specifically to me in the dead of the night. I am CHUCKING that book out as I started parenting with lots of truth and NO grace, and i HATED the mother that I had become on account of that book.
Now, I am parenting and disciplining my usual way, with lots of smiles and kisses for thoughtful action, good behaviour and pretty much ignoring her when she's cranky (instead of punishing) and punishing only for misdeed. We are all much happier and Maeve is back to her cheerful, cheeky self. So the moral of the story? Stop being such an insecure parent and reading all these parenting books! Instead, trust that God has equipped me over the years to do what's best for her.
I've been reading this book, Shepherding the heart of a child, that asserts that children should be taught to obey at the first instance, no matter what. Although they may negotiate, ie, "can i finish the puzzle first?", they are expected to heed the call, if the answer from mum or dad is "no". And if they don't, we have to smack them, as that is what the bible calls for and we have no right to challenge what God asks us to do as parents. Well, I would say that there are some good principles in this book, about winning the heart of a child, but this book has also caused me much distress as i tried to apply its principles, mainly, teach her to obey at the first instance. The end result? I got really tired and frustrated, having to put on my stern face, about 20-30 times a day, which is really hard to do, given my personality. it also caused my little one to withdraw from me. in fact, she told me that the job of a mummy is to punish. ouch! Anyways, after confessing to a crime one night, without prompting, I had to punish, but really, was too tired, from punishing the entire day, to punish further. So, i sent her to bed, while I tossed and turned, troubled by the confessed crime and my parenting. As usual, I couldn't sleep, so got out of bed at 1am and talked to God (for some reason, I hear Him most clearly at about that time). 2 things happened. Firstly, my helper awoke too and sat down to chat with me. Our casual chat revealed that Maeve's misdeed wasn't an act of naughtiness but really that of excitement and she had apologised profusely to the other little kid. That took a load of my mind as I was envisioning a little ganster in the making.The next was a book that God set my eyes upon, Parenting with Grace and Truth. The book affirmed all that I had been doing with Maeve (before I read the other book) and assured me that my general sense of uneasiness with this new method of parenting and discipline was the appropriate response. It is amazing how God speaks so clearly and specifically to me in the dead of the night. I am CHUCKING that book out as I started parenting with lots of truth and NO grace, and i HATED the mother that I had become on account of that book.
Now, I am parenting and disciplining my usual way, with lots of smiles and kisses for thoughtful action, good behaviour and pretty much ignoring her when she's cranky (instead of punishing) and punishing only for misdeed. We are all much happier and Maeve is back to her cheerful, cheeky self. So the moral of the story? Stop being such an insecure parent and reading all these parenting books! Instead, trust that God has equipped me over the years to do what's best for her.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
2 year olds are egocentric creatures that truely believe they are the sun and we are the planets that revolve around them. I've known this, having studied this in child psychology, but knowing this in theory doesn't stop one from choking in horror as the egocentricity gets played out on a daily basis. This culminated in the penultimate command from the little tyke last week.
"call me god".
"No, I'm not going to and I'd like you to get into the shower"
"say, 'god, please get into the shower'"
"No! And I'm counting to 10. 1..."
"mummy, say 'i'm counting to 10 god' "
That, was last week. This week, beginning with Sunday, has been rather testing, as the little one has decided to, well, let's just say, she has been doing the greek goddess on me. jealousy, tantrum throwing, screaming, pinching, biting, kicking, pushing...the list goes on. In just 3 days, I've had to punish the little goddess multiple times a day and IT GETS BLOODY TIRING! Which makes me ponder, why can't they choose to obey? choose to be good? choose to listen to their parents? The answer is glaringly obvious. We are fallen creatures who have to LEARN to be good, and parents are the agents of change. If we fail to correct, the fallen creature will fall further and it all rests on my small shoulders. And here i am, typing at 1 am, after yet another night interrupted by screaming and crying...i actually can't remember when i had an uninterrupted night's sleep...seems like that happened in another life. The only difference is, tonight i decided to join her and cry with her, and when i started, i couldn't stop. it felt like i hadn't cried for a long time and i needed to get it out of the system. catharsis. I am still an emotional wreck, but typing this makes me feel a lot better. i hope i sleep a lot better after this too.
"call me god".
"No, I'm not going to and I'd like you to get into the shower"
"say, 'god, please get into the shower'"
"No! And I'm counting to 10. 1..."
"mummy, say 'i'm counting to 10 god' "
That, was last week. This week, beginning with Sunday, has been rather testing, as the little one has decided to, well, let's just say, she has been doing the greek goddess on me. jealousy, tantrum throwing, screaming, pinching, biting, kicking, pushing...the list goes on. In just 3 days, I've had to punish the little goddess multiple times a day and IT GETS BLOODY TIRING! Which makes me ponder, why can't they choose to obey? choose to be good? choose to listen to their parents? The answer is glaringly obvious. We are fallen creatures who have to LEARN to be good, and parents are the agents of change. If we fail to correct, the fallen creature will fall further and it all rests on my small shoulders. And here i am, typing at 1 am, after yet another night interrupted by screaming and crying...i actually can't remember when i had an uninterrupted night's sleep...seems like that happened in another life. The only difference is, tonight i decided to join her and cry with her, and when i started, i couldn't stop. it felt like i hadn't cried for a long time and i needed to get it out of the system. catharsis. I am still an emotional wreck, but typing this makes me feel a lot better. i hope i sleep a lot better after this too.
Monday, March 23, 2009
She ain't a baby no more
Where are you going, my little one, little one
Petals and petticoats, where did they go?
Turn around, and then you're two,
Turn around and then you're four
Turn around when ou're a young girl
Going out of the door.
Petals and petticoats, where did they go?
Turn around, and then you're two,
Turn around and then you're four
Turn around when ou're a young girl
Going out of the door.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
creativity
my little storyteller is in her most creative phase at the moment,
telling me a new story almost daily. they usually star some girl (most
of the time, her) taking part in a whole myriad of activities, such as
going to the moon on a balloon, cooking up a huge meal for the queen
etc. Her story last night though, took a dark turn. Here goes (i'm quoting verbatim, so pardon the grammar):
"Once
upon a time, there was a ballerina. She loved to dance so much. One
day, she fell down when she danced. And died. The soldiers came and
hang her on the cross.Theytock her hands and tock tock her feet. It was VERY painful!And then a rainbow lorikeet
fly in the sky and sees her. he said, 'oh my goodness!' and fly again.
he didn't rescue her. Then i came and rescued her. I am the goodSamaritan."
Hmmm....yes,
that was my response. I didn't quite know HOW to respond to that and
wondered if it was time to explain the concept of death,cruxifixion.I guess i DO need to broach the topic, albeit somewhat cautiously. I'm waiting for easter and good friday to come and hopefully the toddler class teachers will teach it. hee! hee!
telling me a new story almost daily. they usually star some girl (most
of the time, her) taking part in a whole myriad of activities, such as
going to the moon on a balloon, cooking up a huge meal for the queen
etc. Her story last night though, took a dark turn. Here goes (i'm quoting verbatim, so pardon the grammar):
"Once
upon a time, there was a ballerina. She loved to dance so much. One
day, she fell down when she danced. And died. The soldiers came and
hang her on the cross.Theytock her hands and tock tock her feet. It was VERY painful!And then a rainbow lorikeet
fly in the sky and sees her. he said, 'oh my goodness!' and fly again.
he didn't rescue her. Then i came and rescued her. I am the goodSamaritan."
Hmmm....yes,
that was my response. I didn't quite know HOW to respond to that and
wondered if it was time to explain the concept of death,cruxifixion.I guess i DO need to broach the topic, albeit somewhat cautiously. I'm waiting for easter and good friday to come and hopefully the toddler class teachers will teach it. hee! hee!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
hubby
I take lots for granted. Way too much. It always takes an absence to remind me of that. So while hubby is gone, yet again, to a distant land, his presence is always present. Thank you for
1. Pumping the petrol so that I can drive with a full tank and not worry about pumping
2. Checking my wallet now and again to ensure I've got sufficient cash, and topping it up when it is empty
3. Doing all the bill payments and funds transfers so I don't have to even think about it
4. Making sure there's enough money in the cash card so I don't panic
5. Emptying all the smelly bins because you know I hate that job
6. packing all our ministry stuff into one bag so I don't fret and try to locate all the bits and pieces everytime
7. Rushing home to us even though you've got so much work on your plate, and waking up at 4am so you can complete that work while we sleep.
For all this and so much more, thank you.
1. Pumping the petrol so that I can drive with a full tank and not worry about pumping
2. Checking my wallet now and again to ensure I've got sufficient cash, and topping it up when it is empty
3. Doing all the bill payments and funds transfers so I don't have to even think about it
4. Making sure there's enough money in the cash card so I don't panic
5. Emptying all the smelly bins because you know I hate that job
6. packing all our ministry stuff into one bag so I don't fret and try to locate all the bits and pieces everytime
7. Rushing home to us even though you've got so much work on your plate, and waking up at 4am so you can complete that work while we sleep.
For all this and so much more, thank you.
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