Which is worse?

To be puked on or shat on? I should get some voting done on this as I believe most mums have been puked on AND shat on before, and often simultaneously....which is what happened to me recently. Of course, this is NOT to put off potential parents, just to put parenthood in persepective.
The little one woke up from her nap looking rather ill and started whining and complaining about a tummyache. And of course, all asian mums worth their salt would have RUYI oil or eucalyptus oil every ready and a suitable distraction. for us, you tube was it. And then it happened. halfway through little mermaid singing about being part of the human world, the projectile vommitting started. It rained on the ccomputer table (please let it not move near the the keyboard!), the chair (ok, got to pull out the cover), the nearby mattress (aargh!!!! let it not seep through the bedsheet. no no!!oh oh!), the floor (ok, this one can leave for a bit), her, me (eeww!!!ahh! vomit in my hair!!). Given that the little one has only thrown up once in her life when she was still a wee one, this experience of retching was new to her and she was naturally shocked and frightened...which meant she clung on to me, tight as a kuala to a eucalypt tree, awashed with puke and tears.While i pulled off the bedsheet as quickly as i could, opened the door with vommit-filled hands, walked as quickly to the bathroom to get us cleaned, it happened 3 more times, leaving a trail of destruction along the way.You do realise that doing all that with a 13 kg weight attached to your neck is no small feat. AND THEN the OTHER THING happened. off came the clothes to rinse off the little body (which was still firmly attached to the mothership) and then drip drip drip.....a puddle of poo gains momentum and gathers into a neat artistic shape while drizzling down my legs. AAARRRGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

A desperate phone call to the grandparents had all 3 adults (gramps and helper) landing at my doorstep. 2 hrs later. Which by this time, we were all cleaned up and all feeling better. And cheerful. Which left the bewildered SOS team at the gate wondering what the fuss was about..and me feeling rather sheepish about the sharp tone of my SOS call. another day in the life of a mother.

Of Santa Claus and other magical creatures

A casual remark to a friend that the little one is looking forward to receiving presents from Santa this Christmas earned me THE LOOK. Of course, THE LOOK is often nuanced and heavy in subtext, which in summary would say something like "You're teaching her about Santa?? you're a christian!!" I guess this is where hubby and I differ from half the christian population, and on purpose. On purpose because we actually had a deep discussion before we decided that she should be acquainted with Santa, flying reindeer, the tooth fairy, the unicorn, brownies, pixies and other such creatures. As a christian, it is easy to get caught up in the legalities of what you should teach one's child and what you shouldn't. In fact, as a young adult, I even wrote and directed a musical about the true meaning of Christmas where poor Santa got ostracised after the world understood what christmas meant. In fact, I was so righteous about it I got upset that shopping centres depicted Santas and other seemingly unrelated creatures. As I grew older, I've become less legalistic, more measured and I've learnt to see the positive in Santas. As I teach Maeve about baby Jesus and how God loves us so much He sent us His Son, I also allow her to be excited about getting presents from Santa. The St Nicholas story, is also an important one and depending on how one pitches it to their child, can be a wonderful lesson in love and giving.

The magical stories of Santa for me, fall in the category of fairy tales of wonder and adventure that the little one should know about. Without being able to imagine Santa in North Pole, the tooth fairy exchanging good quality baby teeth for tokens, magical fairies hiding in gardens, riding on a magic carpet, being a genie that can grant wishes, what would childhood be like? For us, there is no need to introduce too many realist concepts at this age, the world and gradual age will do it. Eventually, she'll be a appropriately cynical pre-teen and this world will disappear naturally.

I guess I believe sincerely that the ability to dream, to make-believe, to wonder, is the gift of childhood (that hopefully won't be killed by pragmatism). I remember wishing really hard when i was young (and even for a while believing) that I could climb up the magic far-away tree (enid Blyton)and do all the wonderful things like eat sweets that grow in your mouth.Sis and I will make a pact to meet each other "up the tree" and for a golden age, we did.

So while she thoughtfully chooses a gift to give baby Jesus for His birthday, she'll also get a gift under the tree from Santa on Christmas day. But first, she must remember to put out the milk and cookies for him!

Fav phrases of a 2 year old

If i had a dollar for each time these phrases are used, i can buy myself a spa package!

1. I can do it myself.
2. Don't help me.
3. Don't teach me.
4. Don't show me how.
5. I don't want to eat/drink/go out/come in/bathe/brush teeth/wear the ugly dress...
6. Mummy, say sorry to me. APOLOGISE!
7. Mummy, you are a naughty mummy. Stand in the corner! (when she doesn't get her way with me)

While this all sounds pretty negative, i think it comes with the territory of a 2 year old exercising self-will. It is really tempting to DO THE JOB AT HAND for her, such as wearing her shoes as it takes such a long time of repeated attempts and errors, but i have to always remind myself that by NOT DOING, I'm allowing her to learn independence, patience, perseverence, tenacity.So our household spends our time NOT DOING a lot of things, which leads to lots of spills, spagetti-smeared face, clothes worn the wrong way. But! she also learns to self-feed, drink from a cup without spilling too much, mop up after she's spilled, bring soiled clothes to the laundry basket, and be a really good helper at home.

There's also the positive expressions and they mainly consist of
1. Mummy, you're my sweetiheart!
2. Good job mummy!
3. That's well done mummy dar-ning!

I hope I still hear such phrases of affirmation when she goes into her turbulent teenage years!

Feminism re-defined

We've been reading a wide array of fairy tales of late. Little mermaid, 101 dalmations, beauty and the beast...and the one thing they have in common? they all get married at the end (not too disimilar to channel8 drama serials i must say!). all the ladies (including female dogs) to some handsome prince. The feminist in me protests the propagating of such nonsense (and on that note, let me go look for Mulan and Joan of Arc in fairy-tale form), but currently, my litttle princess wannabe is hooked.

princess: mummy, i want to get married.
mummy: (hides look of shocked horror and says in calm, saccharine voice) sure! who do you want to marry?
Princess: (deep in thought, then resolutely)Samuel kor kor.
mummy: um...ok. but i think you need to..
princess: (interrupts)..ask permission? ok.

Mummy makes a mental note to change reading diet. yes, Pochahontas will do it. she DOESN't marry john smith, but vows to build a path of peace, for all visiting ang mohs, show them the "colours of the wind" and stuff like that.

the next day. in church.
As promised, mummy brings the princess to her potential mother-in-law.
princess: (looks seriously at MW, who concerned, bends down to hear her)Can i marry Samuel kor-kor?
MW: ????

To her credit, my dear friend, MW, carries the little one to "propose" to Samuel kor-kor, who by this time, is trying his best to evaporate. You see, the 5 year old DOES understand what "getting married" means, while his 2 year old suitor believes (i think) it means being able to wear a pretty white dress.

Ah well, at least she's got some of the ol girl in her. she didn't quite wait for the prince to look for her. she took charge. All the bra-burners would have been proud.

Toilet training and exhibitionism

Most parents having gone through the whole toilet training thing probably would have experienced this to some extent: their little one turns flasher. well, at least mine is one, still is...and i'm hoping she'll stop before she gets of arrested for indecent exposure, although being exposed to underpants with strawberry shortcake grinning at you may not be too indecent after all!
anyhow, the smug one, as i should call her now, has been extremely proud of her toileting achievements. When she does a pee in the potty, she announces loudly, "everybody clap!". we dutifully ooh and ahh. when its a poo, you'd better make sure the applause is nothing short of thunderous. so now she's showing off the little underpants to all and sundry. day 1, the 3 little boys next door got flashed at when they passed our gate and called out to her. their mum was suitably horrified...while my smug one grinned with pride. day 2 had her flashing at the grandparents, in public no less. So while i want to share her achievements (especially since technically, i didn't toilet train her, she did it herself by declaring suddenly, "i don't want diapers" and flatly refused to wear it anymore.)and celebrate each milestone, i need to also gently introduce the concept of public and private, which is an irritating concept to her. While keep successes private? shout it from the mountaintops man! so if you get flashed at by a certain 2 year old, please ohh and ahh accordingly with thunderous applause ok? For now. Till further notice.

Gallop Stables on children's day

it was a beautiful, cool wed morning. perfect weather to go outdoors and outdoors we did! We spent the day at the Gallop Stables in Pasir Ris (its at Carpark C, smack between white sands and some other mall, elias?) where the little one very merrily fed the miniature horses with horse food (which we told her was carrots and brocolli to make the little horses grow-therefore-you-must-eat-your veges!). It says the activity was suitable for those above 7, but frankly, who above 7 would be so interested in feeding little horses?
the other attractive activity was pony riding which unfortunately, would not suit her till she's a bit older and able to hold on to the reigns without letting go. hopefully, that'll happen in a few months. it costs $10, which is well worth it seeing the faces of the children light up in sheer delight! What's also nice is it has an attached cafe which overlooks the pony riding track. this cafe also has 3 swings, which was very popular with maeve (she had to sit in each one in turn). after that was a little walk along the swamp where we could hear the sounds of gurgling water close by and little insects chatting with each other. a real good teaching experience as well, as we talked about still water, running water, what causes swamps to happen etc.will definitely make it a fortnightly place to visit.

reflections on motherhood

As we start to think about having a second child, I've been reflecting upon what i'm glad i did, what i regret, what i'm not sure about. so here's the list:

The well-worth the effort

1. Breastfeeding for nearly 18 months. It was painful, tearful, downright bloody at times, but nonetheless very rewarding. Maeve is seldom sick and as for the supposed added intelligence, only time will tell. I figure, if God gave women breasts, I guess breastfeeding is meant to be THE BEST milk for our babies, no matter WHAT the formula companies say. However, one has to put up with very little/almost non-existent sleep for at least the 1st year. So not working full-time helped.

2. Pureeing all sorts of food and fruit for her weaning, rather than going the porridge path. (added to this is the star-buy, my freezer cubes, which goes from freezer to microwave to feeding!) Every single old lady, kept asking me if i was feeding her porridge, when she was about 6 months and tsk-ed tsk-ed at me for not doing so. I wanted her to have a varied diet, to accept all sorts of different tastes, such as mint leaves added to apple puree, coriander added to sweet potato. Today, I would say she's more adventurous in her eating than some of her peers, which of course, helps me heaps. i don't have to prepare special food for her when i go out! (see, self-preservation at work here!)

3. Teaching her to sign when she was 5 months. Between the ages of 5-12 months when speech was almost non-existent, or at least, incomprehensible, signing helped me meet her needs. she was more than capable of deciding what she wanted, and thank goodness for sign language, neither of us needed to be frustated.

4. Spending my money on lots of books rather than toys. We read about 3-5 books every night before bed and now that she's 2, she is able to "read" back. I'm still wondering if it is pure memory, or is she able to recognise some words. Either way, it suits me as she can now "read" to me instead!

5. Leaving my job. even though the 1st year was primarily feed, rock, bathe, change. repeat, i benefitted from watching her first flip, first smile, struggling to clean her when she pooped in the bath and vomited simultaneously, first attempt to kiss me..and so on...there's nothing like quantity time for a little one. the flip side is she is so close to me she refuses to let me out of her sight. even when i use the loo. When hubby and I went for bible study one friday night, she went home with my helper to an emtpy home and told my helper, "i'm going to cry" and proceeded to do so. when repeated questions of "where's my mummy?" drew negative responses or attempts at distractions, she looked at my helper, eyes brimming with tears, "i'm going to cry again".

As for the "i'm-not-sure"s,

1. a confinement nanny. I was adamant NOT to get one as i wanted to do everything on my own, to make the mistakes, learn. basically,to be like most mums elsewhere in the world. HOWEVER, i realise now that the result of trying to be super-mum is that i was severely exhausted and my health/body has never been the same again and i realise I'm more prone to chills now. with a 2 hr, sometimes less, breastfeeding schedule and a baby who cried when hot, cold, wet, dry, sad, bored, for no apparent reason at all, my sanity was close to going as well. What i really needed i guess was someone to take care of me while i took her of maeve. With a one month paternity leave, that solves it, but without, maybe hired help may be needed after all.

2. re-usable cloth diapers. of course, when i was pregnant, i had grandiose plans about saving the earth by not contributing to pollution with 6000 disposable diapers. well, i tried my bumwear diapers faithfully for a few months, but gave up (or rather succumbed) to the convenience of disposables. With a baby who would not sleep in the cot, but prefered my sling, washing diapers constantly was not high on the to-do list (although strangely i developed an obsession for washing clothes and crockery!). Now that i'm in the midst of toilet training, I'm pulling out the old bumwear again. I might try harder the next time round (especially since i have help now!)as frankly, it reusables save heaps of money.

3. co-sleeping. I'm mixed here. on one hand, it was very convenient and helpful to have a baby next to you when you are nursing on demand. i mean, just roll over, let her help herself and meanwhile, continue sleeping. I had her in the cot for 6 months and succumbed one exhausted night, when after nursing, i left her in my bed. which of course is the beginning of the end. after that, the smarty pants didn't want to be in her cot and frankly, we were too tired to care. it was a case of "deal with it when she's older". Now she IS older, she's still stuck between us, which, of course is NOT very convenient for cuddling up to your spouse! so we'll have to gradually move her to her big-girl bed. with huge protests probably.

4. not exposing her to chinese earlier. I'm trying very hard now to speak to her in mandarin. so far, we've managed to count, sing "san zhi lao hu" and say a few phrases. my MIL constantly laughs at it though as she sounds ang mo. she also ignores us when we attempt to speak in mandarin to her. so for number 2, we'll speak in mandarin from day one as the rest of the family will speak in english. How we'll do it is probably with lots of divine help. LOTS.

all in all, i'm ready to do it all again. including the sleepless nights. And the bleeding nipples. And being shat on. Just pray with us that God'll give us another little miracle.

Maeve's 2nd birthday

My Heart is Painful...

....says the little one, little hands clutching her chest, her smile, tipping downwards as she falls dramatically to her knees.All this, just because I raised my voice at her for deliberately scattering cheerios all over the floor. With such dramatics at 2 years of age, i shudder to think what else she'll come up with when older! Just the other day, after being quite the pest at the gramps, she managed to save herself from a scolding with 5 simple words "grandma, you look so cute!" I wonder when children learn how to be cute and charming and devious all at once. And I am the constant sucker who falls for it. EVERY TIme. How to discipline when she's at her cutest? Once again, if she turns into a real brat, it will be my fault. Everytime I don't discipline when i should, the hubby gives me the "you're dealing with her teachers and principal next time" look. So i should toughen up and practice my "think you're so cute? Not! and you're not getting away with it" look...until she smothers me with kisses and "mummy, love you bee bee much!" and then I'm mush again.

baby measures and all things considered

Like all mums, i followed the new baby bonus measures with keen interest. Would there be measures that help sort out work-life balance (ie. shut office buildings at 7 sharp so that parents will be forced to go home and interact with kids? on that note, friends in Melbourne usually have to dash off by 5pm to pick kids up from day care or else they get left at the police station or something. Besides, they need to go home and cook and do some weeding and iron some clothes. another friend reported that the security guard routinely chases him out at 7 as he's the only sucker left in the office building!); measures that recognise the importance of dad's in the whole baby equation (as i've always said to anyone who'd listen, 3 days does not a dad make.)by giving dad's paternity leave and flexibility to take more time off to help, even if only to be awake at 3am to help bring the baby to mum for milk; measures that make bringing baby out a little less stressful (i've hardly used the pram as maeve has always been in a sling and later, a backpack or on her own two feet) as it really is quite crazy trying to take a train or a bus with a little one. Just last week,i was on the MRT carrying her AND a big diaper bag, desperately trying to cling on to the MRT bars. Of course i wasn't offered a seat. But being the thick skinned person i was, i stood in front of those marked out seats (the ones you're meant to give up to people like me) and politely told the person in the seat to vacate it if you please. Unfortunately, the average mum doesn't have the hide of a rhino like me, so they endure it and pray desperately they and their bundle don't crash or slip. Maybe we're too polite to tell others off when they are not civic conscious. As a student overseas, i've heard the elderly scold young ones for occupying those seats, or a whole lot of people shouting at a queue jumper, so why haven't we the collective conscience to do likewise? So what i'd ask for in the new baby measures, is collective conscience, or plain civic mindedness.
I applaud the new initiatives although most won't apply to me. i don't work in a single organisation full time (although i work quite a bit) so the maternity leave won't apply to me. i don't intend to send maeve to child care, but a 3 hr kindy instead, so the subsidies won't apply either. The IVF subsidies don't appply as it only applies to fresh cycles (which i've been told in no uncertain terms by my gynae will probably ensure a repeat of my near death experience). i do however benefit from the tax rebates if i do have another one and a top-up of a baby bonus fund with another one (IF God grants us another one). So really, God provides through the state. It isn't necessary but it is a bonus.
I'm really wondering why the government throws all this money at parents when what parents want is something entirely different. we want guilt-free time with our children, we want to be able to leave the workforce for a bit (or work flexibly from home) in the formative years, which most child experts would say are the most vital years and re-enter when they are older.So while the powers that be have held focus sessions with parents, i'm not sure what sort of parents they held it with that would demand more money.surely having children has nothing to do with money? one wouldn't have more just because the state's giving money, in fact, it might just work the other way round.
All in all, i'm glad I have been able to make the decisions i made so that i have lots of time with maeve (although i wish part-timing was available when i had her so i didn't need to quit). i would consider it as building of sufficient good will that i can call upon during her impending difficult teenage years.I'm glad we're not stretched financially, that hubby has a stable, steady job. We have no debt except for a housing one which we hope to pay off real soon, we've got a helper who serves as my personal tutor on motherhood with her immense experience being a mother of 4, we've got wonderful parents who are so willing to help and would bend over backwards for their grandchildren.My parenthood journey has been nothing short of a miracle where i've experienced blessing upon blessing.Do i need financial motivation to have more? definitely not, i'll have many more in a heartbeat.

I don't know when humans start developing the concept of fear and how it all begins. Does it happen after a few bumps and accidents and bad experiences? Is it all about personality? Now, at a very respectable age, i don't think i will do anything foolhardy, like bungy jumping or driving off into the wilderness with no preparation or knowing where the next petrol kioks were. If you asked me the same questions a decade ago, i would have jumped at the chance to do these foolhardy things in the name of adventure. the thought that i might die, or injure myself in a big way never occured to me and this risk taking behaviour, or fearlessnes is now evident in the little one. i've been bringing her swimming every week and not once does she approach the water gingerly or with some sense of self-preservation, unlike her older cousin who "tests water" first. nope, not maeve. she jumps in with wild abandonment each time, expecting to somehow bob to the top each time. another favourite activity is hurling herself at me, expecting me to always catch her, whether at ground level, or from a height. how she can have such a lack of fear, or complete faith in me, i don't understand. what if i don't catch her? what if i can't scoop her out of the water fast enough? So far, these thoughts don't cross her mind. To her, there is nothing to fear as mummy will always be there, like magic. It warms my heart but the magnitude of such a responsibility scares me. I hope i'll always be there to catch her when she falls. i hope i'll always be the cushion, the trampoline, the safety net. but i know that she will scrape her knee one day, she will knock her little head, she will bruise her heart. i hope when that day comes, i can still be there to catch her.

you scream i scream

the little one has been having a blocked nose every night for a while and i've tried various methods to get her comfortable and back to bed when she wakes up at night at the average of 3-4 times. unfortunately, she decided to have a good scream and cry last night (which was a bad time given my emotional day yesterday) which really got me cranky. so i did what i knew won't work, but had to do anyway because it was cathartic. i screamed back. so there we were, screaming at each other in the middle of the night. poor daddy got the brunt of it and i'm sure would lose concentration at work today due to exhaustion. after a whole bout of screaming, we fell exhausted into each other's arms, she, sobbing and hiccuping away, me, tearing with sheer guilt and trying to make it up with plenty of kisses. Thank goodness children forgive and forget in a way that adults don't. this morning, she was all cheeky smiles and singing away as she "cooked".she even put up with a doctor's visit (it helps that we changed PDs and this one she liked as he had a kitchen set in the clinic and gave her stickers!)without her usual protests. I will have to find a way to deal with my own lack of patience and frustation without taking it out on her. i need more zen-ness (which hubby has plenty of), but it doesn't seem to rub off on me.

the but-why?s

Ever since i could talk, my favourite phrase has been "but why?" things haven't quite changed in 30 odd years. I'm still asking "but why" which makes my mum feel like she's trapped in an endless time warp. I ask that of salesgirls ("you can't try, sales item". "but why?" "dunno. boss say so"), of people who make you fill your primary school results in forms (ennough said), of admin people who make silly rules (usually the answer to my questions is "dunno sorry")..

Recently the tables have been turning. the little mite has started the Why questions which makes mum really pleased. A taste of my own medicine, she would say. FORTUNATELY, Maeve is not really asking in earnest yet, she just likes asking it and.....answering it herself! ha!
Maeve: Aeroplane fly! Why? mummy why?
Me: (silence as i construct as suitable answer)
Maeve: (without missing a beat) BECAUSE mummy cry!
Me: ????

Of course i am stumped by the enigmatic nature of the response, but thoroughly pleased that she managed to rhyme.
and then it hit me: it really doesn't matter what the reason is behind all the whys. life was never meant to be logical and reasonable. it just flows according to its own crazy patterns and rhymes and "dunno" is as good a response as any!once again, i learn from my little one.

It is strange how a little one can change everything. My house has been thoroughly colonised by Maeve and it isn't just the child spaces. the once adult spaces have echoes of her: Peter Rabbit lies on my pillow like it's his right to do so, crayons and odd bits of toys, half eaten raisins snuggle next to my wallet in my handbag,the potty sits proudly beside the toilet bowl, my doors (at least the bottom half) have modern art (at least that's what i see it as) renditions, as does my coffee table, smoo milk adorns every possible surface, the sound system in the car and house play mother goose ad infinitum, my shoes appear in all strange corners and i usually can't find something or the other, whisked away and hidden by the industrious squirrel...and yes, my lipsticks serve double duty as crayon and face paint. Yet...yet, i wouldn't have it any other way. If i were to take away the echoes of her, the house and everything with it will sigh away, empty and devoid of meaning. how a little one can fill all those spaces so quickly and so easily, leaving you wondering how on earth you survived before on the emptiness. and time marches on. i think i'll be a hopeless mess when she goes to kindergarten and waves me away from the kindy doors.

temper tantrums...

...are as certain as death and taxes. the good news is most parents have an arsenal of measures to keep them at bay/remedy the situation. the bad news is I'm not one of them. The good news is most kids will throw one and get distracted soon enough to stop it. the bad news is Maeve is not most kids...in fact, she averages 3 a day, for reasons only known to her...and for her sake i hope they are sublime ones. so what is a harried mom to do? The bookworm in me has devoured all forms of literature on tantrums and they all suggest, IGNORE. well, i tried IGNORE yesterday evening when the royal highness went berserk on the floor of her grandpa's house. then it became a tensed face-off, who will outlast the other. after 45 mins of IGNORE, the little tyke was the winner and she only conceded to vaguely apologise after her cousin took her by her hand and led her, still fiesty and defiant, over. mum and dad assured me that ALL kids will go through this, till, oh about, 18-we-wish-you-the-best-of-luck. hmmph!! So i'm now out on the market for new methods of discipline. mich says wait till i see the terrible-3s, i ain't seen anythin'yet! i wait with baited breat . meanwhile i will see about self-preservation techniques.

what i learnt from my little one

i learnt not to look at ideology when i see the national flag, instead i see very nice twinkly stars.
i learnt that each puddle of rain on the ground are not irritating bits to avoid. they are fallen moons.
i learnt that dancing amongst bubbles always makes the day better as it teases out the giggles.
i learnt that it doesn't matter if you fight with and bite each other just minutes ago, doesn't mean you can't kiss and make up immediately with no bruised feelings.
i learnt not to read the words in cereal boxes or road signs or adverts, but appreciate the stars, alphabets, dancing balls, animals for what it is, not what it's trying to tell me.
i learnt to say hello to everyone, and i really mean EVERYONE! and forget shyness, prejudice, fear and whatever else that made me not say hello.
i am humbled by the many things my 20 month old taught me.

just like mummy!

Everyone tells me my little one is just like me. from looks to temperament to interests to vanity. hmmm.....here she is playing dress-up. most favoured activity for the moment.

top (free) places to bring kiddies to...

...according to the little one at least! In no order of preference.

1. The airport. T3 is best right now. no crowds, huge empty spaces to run and pretend to be a plane taking off (or a bird depending on mood).
2.Ikea at Tampines. Again, huge space. lots of pretend things to do in the pretend rooms. Maeve loves cooking, so the little pots and pans etc serve her well, and following the footprints to some activity or chasing the rotating light Ikea signs are great fun too.
3. The Jacob Ballas children's botanic gardens. lots of fun in the sun with sprinklers (bring a change of clothes and a towel), mist machines coming out of flowers etc.
4. Vivocity. If the weather is nice, lots of outdoor spaces with slides, sprinklers, shallow pools of water or just enjoy walking on the perimeter or the mall taking in the (limited) sea view and (lots and lots of )crane views. If weather's nasty, indoors is also great fun as the space is big enough plus there's a nice cafe with outdoor swings and good views.
5.sentosa. at least i trust that the sand is relatively clean. just bring a spade, some cups and maybe a change of clothes and remember to slip, slap, slop.

the not free (but free for us because of our co-op membership) favourite place is currently the bird park for its lori aviary where she gets to feed (and pet) the lorikeets. now, our recent trip had her distinguishing the various colours, red, blue, orange at the moment. she was also tickled by the penguins (and has been trying to walk like that ever since) and the big-eyed owls.

we're planning our next few sat morning excursions to the following places:
1. pony riding (or pony feeding if she's not allowed on it) at Pasir Ris Gallop Stables.
2.Go-go-bambini at dempsey where you pay $6 for under-2s to play and parents get to chill out at the attached cafe. (i think it'll be a great place to meet friends with other kids. they socialise, you socialise. everybody wins)
3. some farm. I've seen the sign for a goat farm on the way to work somwhere in the boondocks, so i'll try to locate it and bring her to milk goats or something. she's "into" animals right now, but which toddler isn't!

as for rainy/too hot weather where i'd rather not expose her to the elements, then blowing bubbles is also popular (by this i mean, i blow, she chases and pops them). The other fun to do thing is to pick locks. i take her downstairs with a set of keys and she tries each letterbox (it takes a whole hour!) and sometimes pretend-posts letters. The positive externality of that is that i've gotten to know more neighbours this way, especially when she picks their letterbox! when she gets bored, playing hide and seek behind the pillars always works.

my little barnacle

my little barnacle firmly attaches herself to my tummy every night at 9.30pm and no matter how you try to shake all 10 kgs off, she cannot be moved. I wonder if my gastric juices sound like womb sounds that lull her to sleep. every night when i hear baby snores, i extricate my barnacle, ever so gently, to her own little mattress, where she spends the rest of the night (hopefully)asleep dreaming of baa baa sheep and twinkle stars.
Before she sleeps though, there is always the prelude of must-do activities, which include handstands, headstands, long circuitous renditions of the above songs, kicking little feet into the air and thumping them down, jumping on the bed and my tummy, telling her own version of the david and goliath story (she does it with sound effects,and the starting word of each sentence coupled with very dramatic actions such as the giant being attacked by david, david pointing in fear at the giant, ladies clapping and cheering etc) and finally ordering daddy and mummy to sleep. "mummy gao gao ju" (grandpa's baby cantonese talk for sleep).
while it is a very long 1 hr of bedtime wind-down (or wind-up dedending on how you see it), these are the precious moments that will be etched in my memory when she grows up and would rather text messages to friends or use the MSN (or whatever equivalent in 10 years time) then cuddle in bed with me. so for now, I am in no hurry to move my barnacle off. she can stay on this rock for as long as she likes.

thoughts on education

Of late, i've been reading a plethora of books on education, from homeschooling, to child psychology,to various kinds of pre-school syllabi just to get a sense of what might suit the little one (and me). I'm torn really, part of me wants to keep her home till it becomes compulsory to send her to formal education (I'm not sure i want her to memorise lists of spelling or doing homework when she should really be playing), but the other part wonders if she'll miss out on social interaction, building resilience, learning how to share and stand up to bullies and such.Homeschooling her in the initial pre-school years sounds wonderful, after all, who'd give undivided attention to her and cater to her learning style specifically and her interests? That too is a double-edged sword. Precisely because she can get such individualised education, it'll be a huge adjustment once she gets herded into primary school and has to learn passivity.That is just the thing, i hate for her to be taught in a passive manner, to learn about trees and birds by looking at pictures, to learn to count by counting drawn apples, to memorise words in a list.
right now, she learns about the world through touching, exploring,smelling, tasting and the absolute wonder and joy in her face when she learns is something i wish i could bottle forever. Recently, because she was being fretful and a real pain at home, hubby and i took her downstairs to look at the flora and fauna (what little of it). We stuck sticky tape on her little wrists (sticky side up) and proceeded to find petals, leaves and such to "collect" on her "sticky wrist-board". Not only did she learn about colours, shapes, texture, names of plants, she also learnt the word "sticky" and "tape" and what sticks and what does not. Of course, subsequently, she wanted to wear her sticky wrist tapes every day to stick all sorts of things on! now tell me that isn't education! combining botany, language, physical fitness, science!

stop the baby talk!

Hubby approached me gravely one day and suggested that i stop the baby talk as our baby is no longer a baby, but a big girl.

"stop saying poo-poo"
"okay, erm...should i teach her 'bowel movement'? perhaps 'defecate'?"(of course, my mind is racing, how in the world will she be able to pronounce those words??)
"no. just say 'poo'."
" as opposed to 'poo-poo'?"
"yes."
i'm left having linguistic debates with myself. what's the difference between the two? one less syllable and it becomes adult language? Men. i don't get them.

Almost weaned toddler

It has been 5 days since Maeve has not nursed. A good sign. I haven't needed to resort to chilli or bittergourd juice to make her repulsed by nursing, all i've done is major DISTRACTION.
"mummy, milk milk! please! milk milk!"
"darling, look! mummy's wearing trousers on her head!"
(bursts of giggles with attempts to knock it over and put said trousers on own head)
OR making the alternative sound like its the most exciting ever.
"mummy milk milk!"
"oh wow! look! its SMOO milk, its SOOO YUMMY!Yum! Yum! All for you! say thank you."
" thanks mummy" and promptly holds packet of milk in joyful gratitude.
If all that fails,
"mummy milk milk please" (in tears, pulling at my top)
"there's no more, all gone, but you can lick mummy's tummy. its the same".
(lick lick. sob. lick. sob. slobber all over. sob.)

I'm a big big girl in a big big world....

She's all grown up now, at least, going by how she makes her requests known quite explicitly. At the same time, i am pushing her a little to grow up too. we've recently bought the little munchkin a potty. her very own potty to sit on, read on, much snacks on etc and we tried to put her on it after lunch every day. so far so good. she's "produced"results, although she seems to have a penchant for standing over the potty to poo. just yesterday, the cheeky one tricked grandpa by saying "poo-poo" and holding her diaper frantically while grandpa gave a sniff which resulted in her bursting into giggles and wriggling away. gotcha! I've also decided to move her to her own room in a bid to wean her off nursing. so for the first time, maeve slept in her room with my helper who volunteered to sleep with her to help ease her into independence. needless to say, i didn't sleep much, wringing my hands and distracting myself to keep from going into her room, scooping her up and bringing her back to my bed. i missed her so terribly. instead of her little fingers fingering mine, i held much bigger fingers--the hubby's. i guess comforting, but not quite the same. my helper said that it'll take about 5 days before she forgets about nursing completely. let's hope it works.

open thy golden orb!

the little princess has a dirty mouth. really. she doesn't want to brush her teeth and would scream and kick and close the golden mouth shut if i approach her with a toothbrush. she'll see it coming and go, "oh-no! no-no mummy!"so now, i'm going to try peer pressure, the whole family will enthusiastically brush their teeth, making it like its the most exciting activity ever. let's see how that goes. can't threaten her with her teeth falling out as she's too young to grasp that concept. sigh. will she ever have a clean mouth?

happy new year!

Maeve and her che-che go a-walking!

Toddler psychology 101

1. If it is yours, defend it.
2. if it is not yours, plan a hostile take-over, so that it will be yours, then refer to 1.Hostile take-over methods can include the same ones found on face-book: chomp, bite, poke, tickle etc.
3. If you are in trouble with an adult figure, burst into fountains of tears first. It will distract said adult from scolding you.
4. When the above doesn't work, try showing off a variety of newly acquired skills: acting cute, pointing to various body parts and telling everyone what they are, begging "please mummy please" coupled with "cheeky eyes" perfected to an art form. now, that almost always works.

badly behaved princess

What does one do with a little spitfire who pulls hair when she doesn't get what she wants and does the pre-emptive cry before you scold her? i didn't realise that the terrible twos have landed on me prematurely! Maeve is now in the habit of fighting with her cousin every day. Without fail. the harried grandma reports every evening that the little one is very fierce and defends whatever she is holding on to with great passion (or stubborness rather), which means pulling hair, pushing or screaming for help. For some reason, she obeys me at home and when i give her a firm look, she responds. BUT..in the gramps, it is a different story, my angel transforms and the horns sprout instantly. so disciplining her there is a futile endeavour. The family now calls her "drama queen", of course, making loud asides of "i wonder where she got that from" wink wink, snigger, snigger. sigh...

The 3rd party

For a week or so now, we have been changing our sleeping arrangements a little, so that everyone gets a piece of me. so intsead of the little one in the centre, I am. Maeve gets to hold my hand to sleep, so does the hubby. Although hubby still wants to kick her out of bed by march. i realise the difficulty is as much caused by me as her. i am ambivalent about it as i do like her little body beside mine and her breath tickling my arm.
Today i went to work early, which meant that i had to creep out of bed and ask Lea to take my place as i left the house, praying that Maeve won't wake up in shock and confusion to find mummy morphed into Aunty Lea.I still wonder if that is a wise thing to do, to give up my mornings once or twice a week with maeve, in order to find my own sense of fulfilment. as i struggle with this, Bern reminds me that i'll be a very grumpy mummy if i have to face Maeve 24hrs with no break. So what's right, what's wrong...i'm still seeking answers.