sleepless in simei

it is 12.45am and maeve has been crying for almost 2 hrs.i cried along with her the last half hour before deciding to leave the room and type and prevent myself from going ballistic or mental or both. bernard upped and left for the guest room long ago. i don't begrudge him as he needs to work and had a really tiring day, but i do wish i had a spare husband. one to work and another to take turns comforting the baby with me.i'm opposed to letting her cry it out, but after patting non stop, carrying and soothing, she still screamed and short of looking at her and shouting SHUT UP SHUT UP MOMMY"S GOING MENTAL, the only other option is to let her cry herself to sleep. interestingly though, when i burst into tears of frustration just now, it stopped her crying for a while, just to check out what on earth mommy is doing. HOWEVER, when i stopped sobbing, wiped my tears, she started up again. now, blessed silence, only because she's cried herself to sleep, which breaks my heart and makes me feel really guilty. what if she lands up in therapy for the rest of her adult life as a result? ahh...i pray tomorrow will be a better night and she'll outgrow this.