2011

Its a brand new year! I always get excited at the start of the year...new possibilities, new dreams, a 2nd chance...this year, I have decided that it'll be a year of blessings. Yes, I am not God, but this is what I've told Him. Last year really sucked, big time. So I really need Him to reassure me of His love, His pampering, the way a father does when his little girl just got bullied AND fell into a puddle of water at the same time. I guess I've been really tired out and feel like I've been wrung out to dry/spinning in a washing machine/both. This year, I've decided to go back to the gym, spend time pursuing something I love--right now, its a 3 way toss up between sewing, writing and learning to paint. Of course, this year will also be an extremely busy year with Paige crusing all over the shop and Maeve going to kindy. I'm trying to get her to practice writing her small letters to no avail. Have told her if she keeps writing in caps, everyone will think she's shouting. does she bother? of course not. She's 4 going on 14. why would she?

On another note, we came back from this month's check up a little more comforted. Although it wasn't very pleasant to access her port (she struggled and cried), a mentos after cheered her up considerably, AND our oncologist said that if the scan on the 21st of this month shows she's in the clear, then the chances of a relapse are like 0.1%. woo-hoo!!!! AND the port can be removed by the end of the year if we so wished. Oh yes, we so wish very much indeed! So I guess after this pet-scan, my alert mode can drop substantially. So please continue to pray for an all-clear this 21st. We scheduled it on the 21st as we've got a wedding of a dear student to attend on the 22nd and we're going to use it as a reward for her. ie. "go through the painful procedure and you'll get to attend the wedding!" she loves weddings so we hope that will be sufficient incentive to help her brave it through. And yes, we also told her we'll ask all to pray that her veins in her little hand will widen significantly so that it'll be less painful when the radioactive contrast goes in. She screamed in sheer agony the last time as they had to push quite hard to get the liquid in given her eensy weensy tiny veins.

Tomorrow my brave princess goes to a new school. A brand new start. New teacher, new friends. She's excited, I'm nervous. Nervous that the other children will laugh at her lack of hair or make mean remarks. I'd like to say that I believe in the inherent goodness of children, but unfortunately, the inherent goodness also means complete truthfulness without kindness (unless taught at home). Case in point, we were at a cafe with a playground having a lovely lazy breakfast one morning while Maeve played and swung and climbed. A little girl, a little older, took one look at my bald child and hooted to her little friends to "come see an ugly bald girl"! Didn't know if I should slap her or her (in this case) grandparents, who did squat to remedy the situation. So with trepidation and lots of prayer, I send my precious one to school tomorrow, praying she'll have a swell time, laugh lots and make some friends.