The thing with carrying a larger foetus is one gets beached a little earlier. When carrying Maeve, i worked till 38 weeks or something like that and was runnning up and down stairs, sitting on floors in the studio and bouncing back up. Now with a rather large Paige, my earlier gymnastics have been curtailed very early (or maybe its just age catching up) and at 35 weeks, i find myself unable to do the simplest things without feeling like I've run a marathon. I can't get up from the floor easily (which means no jigsaws with Maeve), i can't play dress-up and run around the house without keeling over, i can't even shower my little one as i can't bend very well...which hence makes my helper playmate extraodinaire and me, the useless beached whale stuck to the sofa. Thankfully, my little darling has been taking it in her stride with no accusations of "mummy can't do anything" but rather, with sensible instructions of "mummy, put your legs up".
I'm grateful for the sweet and understanding little girl my baby has become. While I nest and buzz about putting baby things to wash, packing tiny booties and mitts, sewing new pillow cases, my grown up 3 yr old has been helping around the house, changing toilet rolls when necessary, putting clothes to wash, setting the table every meal and just yesterday, helping me to clean up the cot and change table without prompting. I only hope and pray that she continues to be the angel she is now and not regress when Paige arrives (as I've heard older siblings tend to do).
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
chinese oral
We've (okay, I) have been industriously reading chinese story books to my little one in the hope that she'll be able to be bilingual/won't fail kinder-chinese. So far, while the little lass is keen, she is none too impressed with my reading capabilities, which goes something like blah blah blah..skip, blah, skip, blah..blah, skip etc.so obviously, the story doesn't make any sense and i get regular heart palpitations and awful flashbacks of chinese oral exams. Little one rolls her eyes at me (she knows) and says, "mummy, the pause means you don't know the word right? Shall we ask someone else to read it instead?" The cheek!
Had an emergency conference with my long-suffering chinese tutor (who had to endure me for 7 years of her life while I pawed my way to a pass) who reminded me that i will kill all love for the language the way i was going. "just look at a picture book without chinese words and talk about it!" says the wise one. Theoretically, that sounds good and even doable, for me! But in reality, when little wise-ass asks, "what's this mummy?", what's that?" and points to a gazillion things on the page which for the love of God, i have no vocabulary for, i still break out in cold sweat. Despite this, I persist. Hubby on the other hand, smiles warily and tells me, "don't worry, there's chinese B, besides she only needs chinese if she's in a local school. who knows where we'll be in a few years."
I soldier on because I don't want my children to suffer what I've suffered, that is, to actually have recurrent nightmares of chinese spelling, dictation, oral, and I do so because, some part of me, actually likes the language (although my love for it is sadly unrequited). So next time you hear Maeve trying out mandarin, don't say she sounds ang moh ok?
Had an emergency conference with my long-suffering chinese tutor (who had to endure me for 7 years of her life while I pawed my way to a pass) who reminded me that i will kill all love for the language the way i was going. "just look at a picture book without chinese words and talk about it!" says the wise one. Theoretically, that sounds good and even doable, for me! But in reality, when little wise-ass asks, "what's this mummy?", what's that?" and points to a gazillion things on the page which for the love of God, i have no vocabulary for, i still break out in cold sweat. Despite this, I persist. Hubby on the other hand, smiles warily and tells me, "don't worry, there's chinese B, besides she only needs chinese if she's in a local school. who knows where we'll be in a few years."
I soldier on because I don't want my children to suffer what I've suffered, that is, to actually have recurrent nightmares of chinese spelling, dictation, oral, and I do so because, some part of me, actually likes the language (although my love for it is sadly unrequited). So next time you hear Maeve trying out mandarin, don't say she sounds ang moh ok?
Monday, January 4, 2010
New year, new beginnings
Here's to the new year
New hopes
New dreams
New life
New challenges
Today was the first day of school. My baby went on the school bus for the first time (we made this decision so that I won't have to juggle a new born AND be chauffeur next month) and a little part of me wept. She looked so small climbing up the gigantic steps of the school bus, but she was bursting with excitement as we've been talking it up for 2 weeks. The send-off party/cheerleading squad consisted of hubby and I, the grandparents, as well as our neigbours who happened to be downstairs. so one kid on the bus, 6 adults clapping hands!
Today was a wonderful day otherwise, as hubby was off work, so we could trot downtown for lunch and spend the time making new year resolutions. I've resolved to print it out this time and paste it in our room. who knows which notebook we wrote last year's resolutions on! and its anyone's guess WHAT those resolutions are. I've pared mine down to a simple one that covers pretty much everything.
Be a better home manager.
I realise that my life is chaotic because I'm way way too lassez-faire about everything. Everything happens too spontaneously. Run out of milk? Go to NTUC now before breakfast. What to do in the evening? How about the library? It kinda throws everything out of whack when no one has a clue what's going to happen day to day, hour to hour and the little one's bed time is whenever I've persuaded her to go to her room. What this all means is, for 2010, I'm going to put myself and my family on some sort of schedule/time-table so that everyone knows what on earth's going on and we can be flexible within that schedule. it makes it easier for little Paige (yes, that's going to be her name) to fit into our routine. That will also ensure that Maeve has the right balance of outdoor activity daily (cycling, scooting, swimming etc) as well as some quiet indoor ones (puzzles, blocks, painting, play- pretend), as well as some, *drum roll* Mandarin time! So the deal is she gets one hour of immersion from 8-9pm in this language (flash cards, music, videos, games, plain ol conversation with her linguistically challenged mother). God help me! Then daddy takes over to do the bed time routine and i'm off duty for the day! Which explains why i can update this blog today at a sane hour.
Tomorrow I'm going to start doing up a time table which the whole family can refer to and hopefully stick to, and start planning more nutritous meals that don't include ice-cream after dinner and cake for supper. yes, sugar-ladened food will only appear on sunday. let's see how i long i can keep to this.
New hopes
New dreams
New life
New challenges
Today was the first day of school. My baby went on the school bus for the first time (we made this decision so that I won't have to juggle a new born AND be chauffeur next month) and a little part of me wept. She looked so small climbing up the gigantic steps of the school bus, but she was bursting with excitement as we've been talking it up for 2 weeks. The send-off party/cheerleading squad consisted of hubby and I, the grandparents, as well as our neigbours who happened to be downstairs. so one kid on the bus, 6 adults clapping hands!
Today was a wonderful day otherwise, as hubby was off work, so we could trot downtown for lunch and spend the time making new year resolutions. I've resolved to print it out this time and paste it in our room. who knows which notebook we wrote last year's resolutions on! and its anyone's guess WHAT those resolutions are. I've pared mine down to a simple one that covers pretty much everything.
Be a better home manager.
I realise that my life is chaotic because I'm way way too lassez-faire about everything. Everything happens too spontaneously. Run out of milk? Go to NTUC now before breakfast. What to do in the evening? How about the library? It kinda throws everything out of whack when no one has a clue what's going to happen day to day, hour to hour and the little one's bed time is whenever I've persuaded her to go to her room. What this all means is, for 2010, I'm going to put myself and my family on some sort of schedule/time-table so that everyone knows what on earth's going on and we can be flexible within that schedule. it makes it easier for little Paige (yes, that's going to be her name) to fit into our routine. That will also ensure that Maeve has the right balance of outdoor activity daily (cycling, scooting, swimming etc) as well as some quiet indoor ones (puzzles, blocks, painting, play- pretend), as well as some, *drum roll* Mandarin time! So the deal is she gets one hour of immersion from 8-9pm in this language (flash cards, music, videos, games, plain ol conversation with her linguistically challenged mother). God help me! Then daddy takes over to do the bed time routine and i'm off duty for the day! Which explains why i can update this blog today at a sane hour.
Tomorrow I'm going to start doing up a time table which the whole family can refer to and hopefully stick to, and start planning more nutritous meals that don't include ice-cream after dinner and cake for supper. yes, sugar-ladened food will only appear on sunday. let's see how i long i can keep to this.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Drastic discipline
I'm not sure if its turning 3 or a case of mixing with the wrong crowd, but my little angel has been displaying less than angelic behaviour of late. angry, glaring eyes? check. Arms akimbo complete with one stomping little foot? check. Rude retorts? Check. And I get the full display with a few encores every day. As I investigate the source of this new behaviour, my helper reveals to me that that's what the little girl next door (same age) does, and her parents find it cute! choke!! AND I've been letting her play with said little girl at least 3 times a week and honestly, not because I want to improve her social skills, but because, the very pregnant me just wants an hour on the couch to chill. So given this new discovery, i have to find a solution to this pressing problem. Stop the neighbourly visits? Heart to heart talks with a promise of certain discipline measures? Hubby and I conference and decide on the latter. In anticipation, he bought a cane from the neighbourhood shop. Not that we will really use it i don't think, but, well, to show we really don't condone that sort of behaviour. So hubby brought the cane home, put on the fierecest face he could muster, and prepared to give his, "if this continues..." speech, only to get circumvented by the little one who rushes to him, all beaming with delight, shouting, "you bought me a walking stick daddy!! thank you!!" and prompting frees him from it while she does her impersonation of an old person. Stunned, hubby freezes in shock for a while and eventually wrestles "walking stick" back and tells her it is a cane for naughty children and it will hurt. He thwacks one of her toys in demonstration. little one looks sober for a while, then, spying the handle, bubbles over again, "you bought me a PINK cane daddy! thank you!!" Hard to keep a straight face after.
Sometimes it is tiring to repeat the same thing over and over again, and i hate to hear my voice like a broken record, knowing that 5 mins later, I'm going to have to repeat warning, take action and do it all over again, ad infinitum. I tell myself, better now than next time, when she'd be too big for me to physically move her to a naughty corner and actually expect her to stay there. I find myself on my knees in the wee hours of the night, praying for more grace, more favour, more energy, to deal with the shennenigans that will come with the morning. I'm also reminded that I'm blessed with the time and opportunity to actually witness and correct bad behaviour in a way that other mums may not have the chance to, simply because they are not at home to actually witness it. Many parents see their children at the most 2 hours a day, after work, before the child sleeps, with the best part of the day, spent making ends meet, while their child is subcontracted to the day care, the maid, the grandparents...and we know how "disciplined" they will get under those circumstances. So while the day can be thankless, the job of parenting financially unrewarding, I know that it is the highest honour one can have, to determine how one (or more) life can turn out in the future. So while I really enjoy my various part-time jobs, I know that the best job in the world is still the one that is unpaid, and my priority should be to my one student.
Sometimes it is tiring to repeat the same thing over and over again, and i hate to hear my voice like a broken record, knowing that 5 mins later, I'm going to have to repeat warning, take action and do it all over again, ad infinitum. I tell myself, better now than next time, when she'd be too big for me to physically move her to a naughty corner and actually expect her to stay there. I find myself on my knees in the wee hours of the night, praying for more grace, more favour, more energy, to deal with the shennenigans that will come with the morning. I'm also reminded that I'm blessed with the time and opportunity to actually witness and correct bad behaviour in a way that other mums may not have the chance to, simply because they are not at home to actually witness it. Many parents see their children at the most 2 hours a day, after work, before the child sleeps, with the best part of the day, spent making ends meet, while their child is subcontracted to the day care, the maid, the grandparents...and we know how "disciplined" they will get under those circumstances. So while the day can be thankless, the job of parenting financially unrewarding, I know that it is the highest honour one can have, to determine how one (or more) life can turn out in the future. So while I really enjoy my various part-time jobs, I know that the best job in the world is still the one that is unpaid, and my priority should be to my one student.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
turning 3
The thing about Maeve turning 3 is I've got a lovely interactive child who can hold adult-like conversations with me and argue the pros and cons of ALL my decisions, unfortunately. Thankfully, her daddy acquainted her with the concept of opportunity cost. ie. if you want ice-cream, then no sweets, you tube? then one less story at bed time. so far so good. However, turning 3 also means she thinks she's more invincible then she actually is. so these few months, we've seen blood gushing out of her from various body parts, because she forgets she's not made of steel. And the problem with a 3 year old is, pain doesn't make them learn their lesson.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
The one min mother
Hubby bought me a wonderful small book called the one minute mother and it really can be summarised into 3 principles:
1. 1 min goal setting (so that children know what they are aiming for)
2. 1 min praising (where you are effusive in your praise for the child)
3. 1 min reprimand (where you tell the child IMMEDIATELY how you feel when they've done wrong and then straight away remind them how much you love them and how you KNOW they can do better than this)
Very simple rules for parenting but so easy to forget to do.
I realise that i use these 3 rules very liberally and unconsciously as a teacher but forget to do so as a parent...and i really don't know why. Perhaps it is because we see our children much more often and the chances of us going ballistic on them and forgetting to praise is high. The one thing that struck me was "catch your child doing right". most of us, me defintely, are experts in catching our children doing wrong. "Don't climb that..sit down now...stop...that was naughty...etc".
So these ferw weeks, I've been trying to practice the principle of "catching maeve do something right". the premise is, if they get praised often enough for doing the right things, the bad behaviour naturally reduces in time. And by golly, it is true! I've caught maeve doing the most mundane "right" things, eg. sharing with a neighbour, smiling sweetly, being polite, helping me wash dishes, setting the table, NOT throwing a tantrum before school, NOT demanding an extra sweet...the list is endless, but 2 things happened. i realise what a darling i have in her, that she's more good than bad, and it DID reduce bad behaviour! coz bad behaviour didn't get any attention, even negative attention!
Next, I'll experiment with 1 minute goal setting, although I'm not sure how to do so with a toddler. will have to try. the first goal i need to set together with her is "pick up your toys after playing without prompting". Will report on progress!
1. 1 min goal setting (so that children know what they are aiming for)
2. 1 min praising (where you are effusive in your praise for the child)
3. 1 min reprimand (where you tell the child IMMEDIATELY how you feel when they've done wrong and then straight away remind them how much you love them and how you KNOW they can do better than this)
Very simple rules for parenting but so easy to forget to do.
I realise that i use these 3 rules very liberally and unconsciously as a teacher but forget to do so as a parent...and i really don't know why. Perhaps it is because we see our children much more often and the chances of us going ballistic on them and forgetting to praise is high. The one thing that struck me was "catch your child doing right". most of us, me defintely, are experts in catching our children doing wrong. "Don't climb that..sit down now...stop...that was naughty...etc".
So these ferw weeks, I've been trying to practice the principle of "catching maeve do something right". the premise is, if they get praised often enough for doing the right things, the bad behaviour naturally reduces in time. And by golly, it is true! I've caught maeve doing the most mundane "right" things, eg. sharing with a neighbour, smiling sweetly, being polite, helping me wash dishes, setting the table, NOT throwing a tantrum before school, NOT demanding an extra sweet...the list is endless, but 2 things happened. i realise what a darling i have in her, that she's more good than bad, and it DID reduce bad behaviour! coz bad behaviour didn't get any attention, even negative attention!
Next, I'll experiment with 1 minute goal setting, although I'm not sure how to do so with a toddler. will have to try. the first goal i need to set together with her is "pick up your toys after playing without prompting". Will report on progress!
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Toddler Anger Management
I've spent the past few days having self-talks entitled "what is reasonable toddler anger". Given my current state of being stuck at home, I can't venture out to do street interviews, which would probably unearth quite a few gems. My little almost 3 year old has been having, let's just say, bad days. I'm not sure if its developmental (and hence will pass eventually), or reactionary (since i haven't been able to carry her or chase her or play hide and seek etc)or just plain naughtiness. The thing is, when you put a nauseated hormonal pregnant woman together with a toddler who has decided on a new behavioural pattern, mainly, "I don't want!!" complete with stamping feet, pumping fists, war is inevitable. Our mornings start this way of late with "i donb't want to shower/brush my teeth/have breakfast/go to school". Ordinarily, i'll hoist her and physically move her to where she should be, but given my "do-not-carry-heavy-things" command by the doctor, i can only watch and steam as the petulant one does a sit-in protest. When I'm not puking my guts out, I'll do the firm mama and issue the "i-do-not-want-to-repeat-myself-again-or-you're-in'serious-trouble" at which time usually there will be all out screaming and crying, sending the neighbour rushing in in the "is maeve alright-are you abusing her?" mode. I literally have to bite my tongue hard to prevent myself from joining in the scream fest. Part of my brain somewhere says that anger is healthy and verbal anger should be encouraged so that physical anger is not resorted to. After all, all of us are entitled to feelings of anger/frustration/irritability, so would it be fair of me to curtail a toddler's? I've been letting her vent so far till she's tired of crying/screaming, then we go do something nice together, but this is really turning me ragged. Even my parents agree I look like road kill. 3 day old road kill.
so hence my dilemma over this anger thing. is it healthy? Is there any other way i can teach her to express said anger? Should it be nipped straight away? This is really a post-modern parental concern, which is probably laughable to most of our parents. Just buy a cane lah, is the common response. But hubby and i have strong views about the cane, mainly, that it simply leads to fear and submission that is not internalised, but externalised, which in turn leads to passive-aggresive behaviour when they are older, which is dangerous. Forgive me if this is a bit of a psycho-babble, we're both teachers and have seen enough of later forms of destructive, hidden anger.so back to 3 year old anger. right now, i'm still having my internal debates and am praying that once this bed rest thing is over, my playing and running around with her, carrying and wrestling, will bring back my sweet and lovable child. She's in there somewhere, i know it.
so hence my dilemma over this anger thing. is it healthy? Is there any other way i can teach her to express said anger? Should it be nipped straight away? This is really a post-modern parental concern, which is probably laughable to most of our parents. Just buy a cane lah, is the common response. But hubby and i have strong views about the cane, mainly, that it simply leads to fear and submission that is not internalised, but externalised, which in turn leads to passive-aggresive behaviour when they are older, which is dangerous. Forgive me if this is a bit of a psycho-babble, we're both teachers and have seen enough of later forms of destructive, hidden anger.so back to 3 year old anger. right now, i'm still having my internal debates and am praying that once this bed rest thing is over, my playing and running around with her, carrying and wrestling, will bring back my sweet and lovable child. She's in there somewhere, i know it.
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