discipline

I've been thinking about discipline methods of late.
of course, coinciding with the REAL characteristics of a 2 year old emerging. the knee high little person, while ever more charming and irresistable, is also showing signs of open defiance, which of course, must be nipped in the bud. the tool of nipping though, is what forms the crux of hubby and my on-going discussion. so far, the "stand in the corner" method does work rather well as it involves us ignoring her for 2 mins and she cannot bear to be ignored. this always results in a tsunami of tears and promises that the naughty deed will not be repeated again. but of course, if it doesn't occur again in the next few hours, then surely the next day, by which time, I will be tempted to do the one-strike-and-you're-out. So I'm wondering if it is because the method of punishment is not memorable enough or if toddlers just have short memories and that i'm expecting too much too soon. If the little one can do the stomp-the-ground-with-one-foot-arms-akimbo-glare quite well, who knows what shannanigans she'll be up to when she's older! And I certainly don't even want to consider the possibility of a defiant teen in my home.
So, nip it in the bud. which brought our conversation to the reality of corporal punishment, which we both felt strongly about. hubby's take is, smacking her for hitting someone doesn't make sense. so she can't hit, but adults can?? such irony! I also envision having to smack myself a few times first to decide on the correct pressure. too hard, it will traumatise. too light, there will be no impact. and where to smack? hands? bum? legs? i guess our parents didn't think about this too much or wring their hands like what I'm doing now. they just bought a cane and whacked as hard as they could, as long as they could find the cane and grab us before we escaped! But we've both come to the sobering possibility that we might have to start smacking if the open defiance becomes, well, more open.
so today, i'm going to find my wooden mixing spoon and try for intensity. the warning in all books is, do not hit when you are angry. smack only when you are calm and can speak in a calm, collected manner, or else, risk hitting out of anger and becoming abusive. that is all wonderful, but the reality is, the anger, is what causes parents to pick up the cane,spoon, whatever, in the first place! so it looks like,

1. child misbehaves
2. parent gets angry.
3. parent goes somewhere else, counts to ten and breathes. stays zen.
4. parent tells misbehaved that she will be punished in calm voice.
5. parent meets out punishment.
6. child is contrite. hopefully. (although from experience, i believe child will be furious for being whacked and will stay angry at parent, at least for a while.until parent apologies for whacking child in the first place!)

so, really, i'm none the wiser. Will try immediate punishment (stand-in-the-corner) at naughty behaviour first, rather than provide warning, and if that doesn't reduce defiance, the spoon will make its debut.