Parenthood gives me a peek into the heart of God in a way that I've never seen before but probably hypothesised over a million times. Every time the little one chooses not to do as she's told, even after a few reminders,I see the stark reality of sin and feel the disappointment and knowledge of what is to come. When punishment is meted out and the little one stands alone in the corner, separated by a gulf so wide, filled with pain, hurt and the anxiety of separation on her part, and overwhelming sorrow on mine, i feel God's heart. The times i deliberately hurt and disobey God, i ignore Him when He calls, i choose apathy rather than passion, God has to put me in the corner so that i can reconcile myself with Him eventually. The reality of the cross also becomes starking as i see the little one run across the threshold, straight into my arms, weeping and apologising, reconciling herself to me.That cross on our floor, where Jesus streched Himself out on, so that we can run on, to reconcile ourselves to our Heavenly Father.
Yesterday was particularly trying, when i had to punish 3 times for non compliance, this coupled with an old gastric problem acting up after many years of remission. But there is always the sweetness after where the little one "massaged" my tummy, laid hands on it and prayed for "jesus to make mummy better", after which she planted many little kisses all over me. Like my daughter, I too need to learn how to be sweet and plant little kisses on God after making God sad.
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