forgiveness

Yesterday's sermon was a wonderful lesson on forgiveness. I know that i was meant to listen to it as I've been praying about the issue of forgiveness and have been struggling with it. Not in the sense that i find it hard to forgive, but that I'm bad at forgetting, which i guess accounts to the same thing. Anyway, Paige chose the start of the sermon to nurse, so while nursing, i could listen to the sermon uninterrupted. The sermon was about how Jesus restored Peter after his resurrection and forgave him for denying him. Jesus didn't harp on the issue (i do), he didn't ask "why did you..?" (i do), he didn't say "how can i trust you?" (i do) but he repeated "do you love me?" 3 times and then restored Peter. I've been asking God of late, how does one keep forgiving the same crime multiple times a day (as all parents have to)without losing one's temper or getting discouraged. How does one remain impassionate and calm when you want to scream "once again, you did not listen to me!!" or "how many times have i told you not to..". whenever i read the question that was asked of Jesus, "how many times must i forgive my neighbour?", I always smile, knowing that my neighbours will never wrong me 77 times 7 times! That is, until i had kids, then the truth of the statement becomes crystal. So when for the 7th time, i've got to admonish my preschooler, "how many times must I.." i remember Jesus' words. to forgive and forgive and keep on forgiving. With a smile. Its hard to be the adult sometimes when all i want to do is throw a tantrum too and glare at my misbehaving child. Today I had to park the car in a carpark and pray after sending the little one to school, to ask God to forgive me for my unforgiveness. you see, i failed the test immediately today when i had a procrastinating, whiny child reluctant to go to school and didn't talk to her throughout the car trip as i was seething in anger. Later, I will go and restore my child and forgive her as many times as necessary.